Cows

SOCIALISM – You have 2 cows…

Read on for a new twist or 2 😉

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other, then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL

You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot,
and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. ou
then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘cowkimon’ and market it
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they
are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are
part of a Democracy….

WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You
close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

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